Finding that healthy balance

If you’re a ‘plant parent’, you’ll know there are a few key factors needed to achieve that leafy green goodness. And every plant is different.

Some need lots of light, some need shade. Some need to be watered little and often, others need to be left alone. Some like their space. Some like you to sing to them.

Light, water, food, space. It’s straightforward. We're like that as humans. Food, water, sleep, company, work, play - and if you are a believer there will also be things like time in the Bible, prayer and your church community.

In theory, when we balance all these things well, things should be all good. But in reality, life isn’t that simple.

There are so many choices, so many plates spinning and too little time to spin them.

Healthy balance is all about setting priorities. This requires a lot of wisdom.

1. Look after yourself

If you’ve been to a 9am, stayed in the library, helped at a CU lunchtime event, gone straight to hockey and then out for the evening with course mates, you’re probably going to feel a bit overwhelmed when you get home at 1am to find you forgot to put clean bedsheets back on and haven't done the preparation for tomorrow’s seminar.

It’s worth asking yourself: have I left myself enough time to function?

The average adult needs between 6-9 hours sleep a night. You probably know what feels good for you. Make sure you get at least 6 hours of sleep 5 days of the week. Minimum. Consider your screen time, do you frequently find yourself scrolling into the early hours?

Think about scheduling in time once a week for life admin. Carry a water bottle with you that can be refilled. Stock up on fruit and vegetables that don’t require faff to be enjoyed: apples, carrots or bananas. Now, even if you’re busy you can get your 5-a-day on the go.

How about exercise? Could you replace your bus to campus with walking or cycling? If you’re by the coast, could you fit in a swim?

Remember, in all your busyness, you need rest. And rest isn’t just sleep.

What helps your soul to still? If you think of peace, where are you and what are you doing? How much people time do you need? How much alone time do you need? Work out what helps you to truly rest, put it in your diary and guard it!

2. Find good friends

Proverbs 12:26 advises, ‘The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.’

We might be tempted to interpret ‘choose their friends carefully’ in two ways.

We might think this means only being friends with people who are Christians. We know this isn’t true, as Jesus said: ‘The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, “Here is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners.” But wisdom is proved right by her deeds.’ (Matthew 11:19).

Or we might be tempted to interpret this as a ‘good vibes only’ mentality. Yet, as Proverbs 17:17 says, ‘a friend loves at all times, and a brother is born from adversity.’ What does it mean to choose friends well, and have a healthy social life?

The Bible’s wisdom literature emphasises deep friendship: considering how the people we surround ourselves with will impact our heart.

Ask yourself: have I got people around me who are good for me? Who will speak kind words to me? To whom can I speak kind words? Who are the people I can love and always be loved by? Who are the friends who can become family by sitting with me through adversity?

If you’re committed to societies, flatmates, course mates and church then you'll feel busy with different people. But if you never find time to sit with those precious others, to listen and be listened to, then it might be that you need to pray about it and try and find some balance.

3. Do your degree

Your first few weeks at university may feel as though studies are at the bottom of the list. Yet we know that our God is the God of all things. Not just our church life; we honour Him when we honour our commitments.

Proverbs 20:4 says, ‘Sluggards do not plough in season; so at harvest time they look but find nothing.’

Characterised by a lack of discipline and self-control, life spirals around the ‘sluggard’, ‘at harvest they look but find nothing’. Delay in working in the correct season leads to a lack of fruitfulness. If the hard work of ploughing isn’t done, when harvest comes there is no food.

Imagine what this looks like in your university context. The 40% ‘pass’ rate of first year tempts many to throw study out of the window. When third year comes around, they don’t have a good foundation of work ethic to build upon as the dissertation deadline looms.

A good question to ask is: ‘does this honour God?’ It’s important to pause and ask, ‘is it a good witness to your course mate who loves their art/science/politics/literature that you don’t appear to care?’

Think about the choices you are making in the evenings. Do they mean you never make it to lectures? What would it look like for you to consider what season you are with study, and prepare well for the next one too?

In the morning, ask yourself; ‘what would be a godly approach to study today?’. As you commit the day to the Lord, you might find a healthy balance that reaps benefits come your third year.

4. Spend time with God and His people

One foundational truth is that wisdom begins with fear of the Lord. ‘The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.’ (Proverbs 9:10).

It is from that quiet place with the Lord that we go out, refreshed and with clarity about our priorities. The Spirit’s work in us will make us loving, self-controlled and peaceful people (Galatians 5:22-23). Our best shot at having the right priorities is looking to God’s ways – as He has laid out in His word – and remembering we have the Spirit who guides and guards our hearts.

This is what we should long for! Jesus is worthy of everything. Our whole lives are to be worship. We go to the Lord because He is where life begins and ends.

Yet it’s easy to forget this. We need one another as the local church.

Church should be somewhere you are able to find community with other believers, somewhere where you can love and be loved and somewhere you can help out. Have a think about how you’ll go about finding a church.

5. So what?

The truth is that when it comes to finding a healthy balance, there are going to be wonderful days, and there are going to be days that don’t go to plan. God’s grace will meet you in both: ‘Many are the plans in a person's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails.’ (Proverbs 19:21).

As you’re looking at your diary - unsure what to prioritise - remember God has everything in hand. If you are in Jesus, the Holy Spirit is at work in and through you for His purposes. If you choose the 9am lecture, choose it for His glory. He will use you. If you choose that coasteering trip, choose it for His glory. He is with you in the exam room, and He is with you in the club. So have peace that He goes before you and consider the words of Paul

‘Therefore I urge you brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your body as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God - this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will.’ Romans 12:1-2.